2011. Hmm.

For me 2011 was kind of a wash of a year. Just there. Kind of like being 24. Not great, not terrible, just there. I started my second bachelors degree program, said goodbye to my dear Nellie, went to Boston form St. Patty's day, New Orleans for Mardi Gras, and Tampa for the first time. I got my CEN certification, saw my baby sister get married, fell even more in love with my nephew, and laughed a lot. Oh did I laugh. And I cried. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad. Sometimes lone tears and sometimes therapeutic heaving sobs on the couch. Strong emotion of any sort will elicit one of two responses if not both from me. Tears or vomit. Sometimes one leads to another.  I worried about my family, I worried about me, and I made things happen. I can't say that I've completed operation find myself yet, but I can say that I've made progress. I've read a lot, I've listened a lot, I've written a lot, and I've loved a lot.  I think that one thing I'd like to resolve to work more on this year is being kind. First of all to myself, and then to others whom it is not easy to be kind to.  

Why is it that we villianize people? Have you ever thought about that? Why is it easier to make someone a bad person if you don't like them?  Why is it so hard to realize that  it is possible for someone to be a truly good person, and be no good for you at the same time. Why do we live in a society of "or" and "but?"  I think I'll work on replacing "but" with and. Few truths are mutually exclusive. Isn't that an interesting discovery about growing up? It's not "you want this to happen, but I want this to happen" it's "you want this to happen and I want this to happen." Do you see the difference? Two truths. Perhaps in complete opposition, but truths none the less.  Not, I'm pretty but I'm overweight, I'm pretty and I'm overweight. There's such a keen difference!  And it's okay for both sides to be true. Kind of an interesting philosophical ponderance :)  It's gonna be a great year!!  Also up this year are Phoenix, Georgia, NYC, Greece, graduation, and Portugal... Yay :)

Still, Still, Still

Here I am, getting ready to go to work, overcome by the Christmas spirit.  I quite honestly enjoy working holidays. I chose a career that doesn't stop for nights weekends and holidays. And I love it. But I wanted to leave you with a few words from my heart this most holy of holy nights. Please be safe. Love your families, love your babies. Laugh together. Enjoy being together. Wear your seatbelts when you travel to you your loved ones homes. Watch your children around pools. Cut up their food into non-chokeable pieces. Make snowmen and snow angels. Be grateful. Be grateful for your families, and for all that you have. Remember that there are many who are not with their families tonight both at home and abroad so that we can be safe and secure tonight. Remember Christ our Savior. Remember the glory of his birth. Remember all he has done for you. Remember that he loves you. Be still, sleep in heavenly peace, and Merry Christmas to all. Every one.

Over the Hill

Last weekend I made it home to Logan, UT for my mother's 50th birthday. Getting there ended up being quite the adventure. I worked 6 days in a row, then I had given myself Thursday for a day off to clean my apartment, wrap everyone's presents and pack. So I slept in, went to my facial appointment, then slowly started getting everything ready. I went online at 4am (on Friday) to check in to my flight that was leaving at 6:25am. The confirmation code I entered gave me a message that I couldn't check in to my flight unless it was within 24 hours of the scheduled departure time. I thought I had mistakenly taken the confirmation number from my New Year's flight... So I opened my email again and imagine my horror when I realized that I had opened the correct email, but when I booked my flight I had booked it for Thursday the 15th instead of Friday the 16th. Oops. But, after a quick call to the airline and additional payment of $150 I had myself on the flight I thought I had been on all along. So I finished getting ready. I called a cab at 5am. Usually it takes 15-20 minutes from when you call until they get to your house. Today they told me it was going to be 2-5 minutes. Crap. So, I scrambled to get dressed, finish my hair, take the garbage out, and run out the door when he called. I left the living room un-vacuumed --it might not sound like a big deal, but  I operate under a strict policy of having a CLEAN home before leaving on vacation. I'm talking, floors mopped, fresh sheets, laundry done, beds made, surfaces dusted, the whole shabang.

I got to the airport, and as I was putting all my sweaters, shoes, etc in the security bins I realized that I was going to Utah without a coat. I remembered my Utah shoes, and I brought two scarfs with me, but no coat. Oops.  And I had to leave before finishing the rest of my brother-in-laws present. Oops. And I had left all of my diet food at home. I get sick when I eat real food after sticking to the diet plan. Oops. And I had left my mother's birthday present at home. Oops again. The whole confusion of the morning totally threw me off!!

But I made it home, and I spent Friday with my sister, then Friday night with former college roommates Jill and Kristin. Once I got off the plane, all the stress involved in getting there was instantly forgotten.  We had a great time laughing and catching up. Kristin drove me back to Logan the next morning. As we drove into the valley I noticed that I had patches of goopy blurred vision.  When I blinked they cleared and there were green goobers on my eyelids. Lots of them. And as we got closer to Logan, my eyes were fire-engine red, itchy, burning, and oozing green gunk. I had pink eye. Awesome. I've never had pink eye before, but there's no mistaking it when you've seen it at work countless times. So, Kristin drove me to my parents' house and we walked in. My mother was shocked and the look on her face was priceless. She didn't know I was coming home at all, and there was no way she could know about the bigger surprise that was to come!  But after the hellos and the hugs, I had my father drive me to the insta-care for some anitibiotic drops.  We were lucky that it was a slow day, and we were home with my prescription filled in 45 minutes. From there it was smooth sailing.  My eyes were better in about 36 hours, I no longer looked like a vampire.  And thank goodness for infection prevention skills I managed to love my nephew and the rest of the family without spreading my germies.  I had the most amazing time with my family. They are honestly the greatest people I know. The surprise party and preparation went of beautifully and it was wonderful to see people make a fuss over my mother like she deserves. She is truly one of the greatest women in history. She's amazing. Not even the pictures can do it justice, but they're better than words. So, I've described the bad, and here's the photos of what made me forget all of that as soon as I stepped off the plane:

 Boston loves his football :)

 Boston's new trick --the kissey face :)

 All of mom's favorite snacks

 The house was PACKED with peoplem it was great!

For the record, this was not my idea, but it was pretty funny... :)

Justification

Today I went on a marathon 6 hour shopping trip to a single mall (Bellevue Square) with one of my best friends.  While driving home, we saw a pretty black car with black tinted windows. I said to my friend, "I really need to get my windows tinted. ...I really need to stop spending money so I can get my windows tinted"  She wisely pointed out that I didn't need to feel bad about the exorbitant amount of money spent at Sephora and Victoria's Secret today, because --what good does it do you to have a hot car if you get out of it and don't look amazing?  "Excellent point," I replied, "It's what's on the inside that counts."  And that, my friends, is how I justified nearly $600 spent at a makeup store with the excuse that it's what's on the inside that counts.

And, in case you're wondering... this is what that much money in makeup, brushes, bubble baths, and nail polish looks like:

Truths

I'm 29 and am still not sure exactly who I am.

I think that's okay.

I love what I do.

I hate my job.

I want to go home.

I miss my family so much it makes my chest hurt.

I want to go to grad school at Georgetown.

I want to go to grad school at Johns-Hopkins.

I love my family more than anything in the world.

No Thanksgiving dinner is complete without Raspberry Pretzel Salad.

Breaking Dawn was the best of the Twilight movies thus far.

It made me want to read the books again for the umpteenth time.

I will still not read Harry Potter.

I hate wearing clothes.

I refuse to listen to Christmas music before the day after Thanksgiving.

Urban Meyer at Ohio State would be amazing.

No matter how old a girl gets, she still just needs her mommy and daddy sometimes.

It is possible to passionately love and hate something simultaneously.

Music speaks in a different language to the soul.

There are too many wonderful and amazing places in this world to not be vacationing regularly.

True friendship has nothing to do with distance.

I love to crochet.

The best feeling is when you get something you didn't know you needed at the precise moment you need it.

I've had an uncontrollable urge to rake the massive amounts of fallen leaves on the side of the roads into big piles just so I can jump in them.

I've become a chemical peel junkie.

I find popping zits therapeutic.

I'm not sure why I continue to order pizza since every time I eat a bite I complain inwardly that it's not New York pizza. But I continue to eat it. All.

Best networks on television:  ESPN, Discovery Channel, History Channel, A&E, The DIY Network, and Showtime --just because it has Dexter.

That's mostly it.  Some serious, some funny, some light-hearted, all truths.

Where The Sagebrush GROWS!!!!!

So much I could get caught up on... but the most important thing ...I miss my Aggies like crazy!!!!

The student section filled to capacity one hour before game time- 2 minutes after the doors open

What I missed in a time-lapsed nut shell

I miss the spot where the sagebrush grows!

Is it a wonder that ESPN has consistently named the Spectrum the 2nd toughest places to play in the nation?!

Once an Aggie always an Aggie. I WILL make it home for at least one game this season. Until then, my dear Spectrum, be loud, with love, Toni.

First World Problems

So lately...  My full time, well-paying job and third University degree (that's being obtained at no out of pocket cost to me) are exhausting me completely.

The new facebook has made it entirely more irritating to keep up on peoples' lives that I don't really care that much about to begin with --with a few exceptions of course.

The battery on my cell phone drains way too quickly, and my charger is all the way over there.

I have to wake up after a mere six hours of sleep to go to my facial appointment.

The 'hi' setting is a bit too warm and the 'lo' setting not quite warm enough on my car's heated leather seats.

I had too much food for lunch and now I'm tired.

It takes two more minutes to go to the Starbucks with a drive-through so I didn't have time to stop on my way in to work.

My GPS made me drive through the ghetto.

I'm trying to text while at a red light and I keep hitting all greens.

I can't hear the tv when I'm eating crunchy snacks.

I have to find my own husband since my culture doesn't practice arranged marriages.

The domino's pizza tracker isnt' working and now I have no idea when to put my pants on.

I accidentally clicked on iTunes and had to wait two minutes for it to open so I could close it.

I waste entire days languishing in my warm comfy bed because I can't find a good reason to get out of it.

Pretty much... I've been busy and running around doing various things and trying to keep my head above water.  I find it a bit too easy to find things to complain about, and these are just a few of them. But... I'll try to be better at finding things to be grateful for and focus on those.  And a still have a few things to get caught up on... Maybe later :)