Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Today's List of Grievances

Ahem. Today's list of people that have pissed me off, and my suggestions to them.

To the ACLS people. There needs to be a separate class for those of us who work in the ER and to this stuff all day every day. That way when I go to renew my certification I do not want to stab all the stupid people in the eye with a rusty spoon. Also all the people who are taking the class but have never seen/ran a code in their 85 years of existence will not get scared when the medic-instructor and I get in a battle of who can outlast who in the "save the patient" scenarios. Having a separate class would greatly improve satisfaction of your students from all backgrounds.

To the WA DOL. Your state sucks. Not the state itself, because I quite like it here. But the drivers are awful. All of them. And it is WAY to hard to get your car licensed in this state. Because you are making me jump through needless hoops and perform countless menial tasks to make my car worthy to drive on your roads, I have a list of demands for you. You may start by revoking each and every drivers license in the state with the exception of a short list of people I will send you. All revoked-licensees will need to go back to drivers ed and start all over with the basics. The very basics. When they have passed the basics according to my satisfaction, they must pass an advanced class on things such as going somewhere between the speed limit and 10mph over at all times, accelerating to freeway speeds on the on-ramps --that's what they're there for ...and similarly, not slowing down a mile before your exit. Also included in the advanced class are instructions on how to be courteous, use turn signals appropriately, and keep slower traffic to the right, reserving the left lanes for passing lanes. After passing the advanced class, they may receive their brand new shiny licenses which will be subject to revocation at any time for not following the rules learned in training. This may be done at a moments notice be myself and the list of authorized drivers I told you about earlier. You must also fix all your roads. Once they are all paved, you may maintain them by illegalizing snow chains except by 18-wheeled vehicles in canyon passes in snow storms. There is no need for 4-cylinder vehicles to have snow chains on while driving around town because the weatherman said there may be light flurries of snow today. This should not be hard, since the same principle will be covered in the new drivers course. While you are repaving each and every road, you will also need to make I-5 and I-405 each 6-lane freeways at all times between Tacoma and Everett. Along with the I-90 and 520 bridges from Seattle to Bellevue. Two lanes is ridiculous. You will also need to eliminate the lane sharing of enterin-exiting freeway vehicles. This is just asking for trouble with all the idiots you have driving around here. This is a good start. Once you have completed these tasks, I will re-evaluate and let you know any further improvements that need to be made. ***see special story below***

To CNN. I hate you. You have successfully created mass hysteria in hoards of people with no medical knowledge and convinced them they are going to die of a strange new exotic disease --swine flu. Guess what. It's freaking influenza. The treatment is NO different than influenza from humans, birds, whales, or the monsters under your bed. Yep, people are dying from it. But guess what. People are dying from normal human influenza too. Thank you for making my life hell because you had a slow news day, and felt a need to blow this out of proportion. You must now be present at each ER across the nation take care of the throng of non sick people you sent to us. They are now your responsibility and not mine, do with them what you wish. In the meantime, I'm going to invent a flu called the "I'm a dumb mo-fo flu" that way when people come in and say, "I want to be tested for the 'I'm a dumb mo-fo flu'" I can say, "You have it, GO HOME!!!"

That is all my grievances for today.


So here's a good 'ER personality' story for the day. Many of you have heard me talk about, or know for yourself what an ER personality is. We really are a breed unto ourselves. This is why we're all friends. We are all know-it-all-problem-solvers with what some might call a bitchy edge. We like our info straight up. Don't mess around give it to us straight and get to the point. Normal rules don't apply to us, and we have no patience for people who get in our way or slow us down. So the other night at work we were all talking and Peter (one of the docs that was on) says, "So I was driving to work today going 80mph talking on my cell phone by myself in the car the carpool lane, when I realized I was tailgating a police officer, so I crossed back over the white lines to get around the cop." Timeout for those of you who didn't get it. The speed limit is 60mph. Talking on your cell phone is illegal. As is driving in the carpool lane when there is only you in the car. As is crossing a double white line. So this was an impressive story, but the reason it was funny is that three of us piped in with, "I did the EXACT thing the other day!" With small variations, including expired tabs, etc. These are rules that should not exist for those people on my list of drivers. You know who you are. You are the same people who will be on the committee of drivers-license patrolling mentioned in grievance #2. Which reminds me of one more thing to add on to grievance #2. There are two stop signs by my house that do not need to be there. I don't even slow down for them, you may as well just remove them. Thank you.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Sights of Spring

It's coming! It really is!!! I love spring!!!

driving across the I90 floating bridge at sunset

Out my window

I looked out the window and what did I see...

Pretty flowers at the drive-through at Starbucks :)

At the apt

I heart Alki Beach

Me Siobhan and Serena at Alki

Pretty! On the way home from work one morning.

More info than you probably want to know

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My face

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
the same color as 97% of my hoodies blue

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
yes now?

4. Do you plan outfits?
yes, sometimes planning what cute things I'm gonna wear is the only thing that can get me out of bed early in the morning :)

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Yanks and Sox are about to play ...I'm excited ...I love Andy Pettitte!!!!

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
Honestly, I have not a single red thing in eyesight. And it actually has nothing to do with my answer to #5

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
I try to actually say words rather than spell them, so I of course say aim. I don't instant message so I have no reason to do otherwise.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
My pet whale was swimming by my house made of windows on the water. It was a humpback whale, not an orca, but I'll take it.

9. Did you meet anybody new today?
If we're going on the 24 hour clock version of today, then I met a few new people early this morning at the bbq

10. What are you craving right now?
see #3

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
mmm, I <3 cabbage!

13. When was the last time you talked on aim?

14. Are you emotional?
Hahahahaha. Um, yeah.

15. Would you dance to the taco song?
I don't know what that it, but it sounds like something I would do.

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I think I might have started once when I was little, then I got bored and realized I had better things to do play.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I have a philosophy about this. Shocking I know. Eating an ice cream cone is like making out, no teeth need to be involved, but licking and lips are ok ...I'm not going into more detail, if you need more details, come visit me and we'll go get ice cream.

18. Do you like your hair?
love it

19. Do you like yourself?
yep --who wouldn't?

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?

21. Do you like cottage cheese?

22. What are you listening to right now?
baseball tonight on the tv waiting for the game to start

23. How many countries have you visited?
Two. Sad.

24. Are your parents strict?
No, they don't really need to be. I'm a pretty good kid.

25. Would you go sky diving?
Abso-freaking-lutely! On my list of things to do this summer!

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
No, I'm not five.

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
does my diamond necklace count?

29. Have you ever been in a castle?
Hirst castle in cali, and disneyland!

30. Do you rent movies often?
not really

31. Who sits in behind you in your math class?
Haven't taken a math class since my first semester in college, and I technically only went to class on test days. It was stats 1040 and I had just finished ap calculus, I had NO reason to go to class.

32. Have you made a prank phone call?
Ah, the days before caller id!

33. Do you own a gun?
a bubble gun's out of batteries though

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
Um, yeah, but I'm not that bored ...and Derek's up to bat in 2 minutes!!!!!

35. Who are you going to be with tonight?
as of now it's lookin like DJ and the yankees ...unless Siobhan or Serena call.

36. Brown or white eggs?
As a general rule I like brown things better than white, but eggs are eggs

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
no ...every time I go in that store i feel like i have a flashing light above my head saying 'i don't belong here'

38. Ever been on a train?
yep --love em. Can't live in the northeast without being one one a time or two

39. Like the person your dating?
I don't think I'm technically dating anyone... but i'm still friends with the last person i dated

40. Do you have a cell-phone?

41. Are you too forgiving?

42. Do you use chap stick?
one of the best inventions ever

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?

44. Can you use chop sticks?

45. Ever have cream puffs?
yeah, not my favorite

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?

47. What was the last question you asked?
see #28

48. What was the last CD you bought?
oh goodness ...the last actual cd ...I honestly have no clue

49. Boys or girls?

50. What is your bus number for school?
no school, no bus, again, I'm not five

51. Is your hair curly?

52. Last time you cried?
last night

53. Ever walked into a wall?
lol not that I recall

54. Do looks matter?

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
sad to admit this ...but the last person i slapped was my mom when i was about ten. it only happened the one time. i have never been in so much trouble in my life. and rightly so.

57. Favorite time of the year?
summer ...and march madness, and october baseball

58. Favorite color?
today -blue

59. Are you sarcastic?

60. Do you have any tattoos?

61. The last person you held hands with?

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
not on purpose, i've fallen asleep a time or two during a movie

63. Where was your default picture taken at?
canooing through central park nyc

64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
i don't hate anyone, but i have a pretty long list of people i'd be ok not seeing ever again ...all of them are work related

65. Do you like your life right now?
for the most part

66. How often do you talk on the phone?
as little as possible ...unless you're a cute boy

67. What is your favorite animal?
shamu ...and dolphins

68. What was the most recent thing you bought?
lays potato chips to take to the bbq last night

69. Do you have good vision?
with my contacts in

70. Can you hula hoop?

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
someone who cheated on me? I would like to say no, but see #41

72. Do you have a job?
yep, it's how i stuff. (i <3 friends)

73. Can you handle the truth?
always, give it to me straight or don't give it to me at all

74. What are you wearing?
yellow tank top

75. Have you ever crawled through a window?
not since i was little

Thursday, April 16, 2009

It's Official!!!!!!

Well, beat the drum and hold the phone --the sun came out today!
I'm born again, there's bluegrass on the field!
Roundin' third and headin for home, it's a brown eyed handsome man...
Anyone can understand the way I feel!

Oh, put me in coach! I'm ready to play, today!
Put me in coach, I'm ready to play --today!
Look at me, I can be centerfield!

Ah! That's right folks, baseball is BACK!!! Woohoo! And the sun did come out today, and I did feel born again and there was bluegrass on the field --Kentucky Bluegrass for those of you less familiar with the finer tunings and groomings of a professional baseball field. It's official, baseball is back, and I went to my first game tonight. And it was fabulous. This is the best time of year --seriously! There is just something about baseball. I went with my friend Siobhan to see the Mariners play the Angels. We sat on the 5th row of the 1st baseline --right by the dugout. I literally worried a couple times because my peanut shells were falling in the dugout --we were that close. Good thing the dugout was a pig-sty and you couldn't really differentiate my peanut shells from the used powerade cups and sunflower seed shells and other clutter ...seriously ...messy boys! Some of you may be wondering who allowed me to be that near the dugout. Well, I'm not going to tell you, because that wasn't the point of me telling you our seating location.

The point is, there was a group of 21-22 year old boys sitting in front of us who had happened upon front row tickets. A once in a lifetime opportunity. And they were having the time of their lives. And so were we. Not only because we got included in the dancing and screaming and high-fiving and celebrating of every good thing that happened, but because we were at a baseball game! That's what baseball is. It's the crack of the bat and snap of the ball hitting the glove. It's the smell of hot dogs and cracker jacks and fresh cut grass and finely manicured infield dirt. It's the unmatched one-on-one battle between the pitcher and each batter he faces. It's putting your hand over your heart and honoring your country at the start of every game. It's standing up in the middle of the game and putting your arms around total strangers and singing 'take me out to the ballgame' with all the fervor you did when you were five and your entire life was a game. It's a chilly spring night that feels like a hot summer afternoon with kool-aid and popsicles. There is nothing like it. And I can't wait till my next game!

I spent some time in the mudville nine, watchin' it from the bench.
You know I took some lumps when the mighty Casey struck out.
So say hey Willie, tell Ty Cobb and Joe Dimaggio;
Don't say it aint so, you know the time is now!

Got a beat-up glove, a homemade bat, and brand-new pair of shoes;
You know I think its time to give this game a ride.
Just hit the ball and touch em all - a moment in the sun!
Then *pop* its gone and you can tell that one goodbye!

Oh, put me in coach! I'm ready to play, today!
Put me in coach, I'm ready to play --today!
Look at me, I can be centerfield!

Me and Siobhan --yay for baseball!

Jaryd Weaver pitched for the Angels and had a no-no through 4+ innings!

Jeff Mathis :)

Ken Griffey Jr. --my new friend :) ps it was Jackie Robinson day so everyone had the number 42 on

Ichiro hit a grand slam!

Friday, April 3, 2009

So Long Old Friend

The good old days of TV Thursdays are officially over. When I was 12, I began to be a faithful watcher of TV Thursday. Each week I watched Friends and ER. I watched Friends faithfully to the last episode with my family or friends. The last episode of Friends was when I was 21. I essentially grew up with that show. I mean, those were some pretty formative years. There is not a single episode that I have not seen at least twice, and some that I have seen more times than I can count. There is a Friends situation for every moment in life.

ER was after Friends every week. For the 10 years Friends was on the air I did not miss an episode of ER either. Friends and ER every week. In High School my best friend Kristy and I would watch ER together every week --even if we were at our own individual houses and watching it together over the phone. We would claim it was to study for our Medical Anatomy and Physiology class. I had known that I wanted to be a nurse ever since I was in kindergarten. But Carol Hathaway and the show ER is what let me know that I was going to work in the Emergency Department, and I was going to love it. So it is somewhat ironic that I had to DVR the finale of ER tonight, because I had to attend my own real-life version. The show that inspired me to the career and profession that I love is over, and I will have to watch the finale when I get home from doing what the show inspired me to do. Thanks for the good times ER :)