Counting Down

In less than 24 hours folks I will be on a flight headed for Tampa, FL.  Five days of sunshine and beaches. And hopefully some amazing classes and seminars. I'm going for the Emergency Nurses Association Convention and can't wait. It will be an BEYOND needed break. I haven't gone on vacation since March... Which is a big deal for me.  I need to run away, I need to be away, I need to just GO somewhere new and away. I'm afraid I've caught a bit of the smothered claustrophobia bug again. I'm feeling a run down and burned out on life and my job. And I love my job, I really do, which is why it's so hard when I hate it. So, in the words of Zac Brown  Band and Jimmy Buffet, I'm gonna go "put the world away for a minute, pretend I don't live in it; Sunshine gonna wash my blues away... Mind on a permanent vacation, the ocean is my only medication, wishin' my condition ain't ever gonna go away."  I'll write again soon, after I'm "knee deep in the water somewhere, got the blue sky breeze blowing wind through my hair, only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair." Sounds nice right?  Be back in a minute :)

Where Were You

Where were you when the world stopped turning, that September day?  Thanks Allen Jackson for the inspiration for today's title.  So, where were you? I'd say it's a safe bet that we all remember what we were doing that day, the minute, the hour and the rest of the day when we found out.  I can tell you that I pushed the snooze button exactly twice through reports of the first tower being hit with an airplane. I can tell you ever footstep of that entire day. From the classes I attended to the songs I was working on that day in my voice lesson. That day taught us freedom, it's true meaning. That day taught us humility and unity. It taught us gratitude, it taught us what a Hero truly is.  More important than where I was that day, to me at least, is what I've become since then.  September 11, 2001 I was a sophomore at Utah State University hoping to get into the nursing program the next fall. I did. I had yet to fly on my first airplane flight, I had yet to see the ocean, or any place other than home and Yellowstone Park. In the ten years that have passed since that fateful day I like to think that I have fulfilled my own American dream.  I've graduated from a university. Twice. I'm working on my third undergraduate degree and am anticipating my Master's Degree in the near future.  I've been on a plane, I've lived by both oceans. I've lived in New York City. I've been in love, I've had my heart broken, I've found a home, I've loved , I've lost, I've lived. I've become an aunt, and a sister-in-law twice.  I've bought one new car, signed one new apartment lease, and spanned the continent with places I had before only dreamed about. I've become me.  I will never forget that day, I will never forget the things it taught me. I will never not be the me I learned to be.

A Photo

This photo explains a lot. First of all, why I will likely not survive if someone breaks into my house to kill me. This shelf tore itself off my wall and clattered to the floor one night when I was sleeping. It used to support a glass vase full of stones, one full of wooden cherries, and wooden block letters reading 'love'. The vase with the stones shattered, sending bits of broken glass and stone everywhere. I semi-woke up to the clatter, and thought how sad it was that someone outside must have dropped something. It sounded expensive. Oops. And I went back to sleep.  It also is a strange fortuitous metaphor for my life right now. Quite frankly it's been one hell of a week. Excuse my language.  My 'LOVE' shelf fell off my wall, broke everywhere and I didn't have the energy to clean up all the pieces for two more days. So it just sat right where you see it. This was one of three shelves on my wall, and ironically the one that was the most secured into the wall, the one I thought was least likely to fall off. I quite enjoy redecorating. I do it often. I was not particularly attached to these shelves anymore and had actually been loosely looking for something to replace them with for quite some time. This did not stop me from sobbing as I vacuumed up the pieces. I have an inkling the tears weren't for the physical shelf and broken glass.  Luckily today I had lunch with a best friend and part-time therapist (as all best friends are). We had an amazing time sitting outside at the restaurant and just catching up. Then we ventured to IKEA. Good times ensued and I came out of the store (among other things) with these:

They're clean, they're neat, they're simple, I quite like them.
And as for my live laugh love blocks, they ended up here with my other favorite:

Beauty

There is something magical in the air the day after labor day. I first noticed it when I was living in New York City. There was a palpable, taste-able change in the air that appears in the middle of the night.  I noticed it again on my run today here in Seattle.  The air is crisp and clean. It's not cool yet, but different somehow. The air is quieter, you're able to hear the smallest of birds chirp.  As I jogged along the shores of Lake Washington, a water plane made lazy circles in the sky. Commercial jetliners came and went from afar off at SeaTac, and there wasn't a boat on the water.  The water was crystal clear, calm, a mirror-like reflection of the surrounding shore.  The water lolled calmly against the short wooden logs that may have supported a bridge in years gone by,   The sail boats were moored, lined up, and still. Even the ducks were gone.  Three lone turtles bathed in the sun on a drift log a way out in the water.  Mt. Rainier stood majestically in the distance, her snow capped peaks stark against the brilliant blue sky.  The trees are still green, not even a summer breeze to ruffle their leaves. But still it's different. And I have to say, this summer-loving girl is excited about it.

The Bost Man's Birthday

Last week was a happy happy week for the love of my life, my little nephew Boston. He turned 1 and is getting so big so fast!  I love this little guy so much, and I'm so glad I got to go home for the occasion!

Timeless

Great works of literature are truly timeless. I've spoke of it often lately, but this will be the last for a while. I've finally finished my journey with A Tree Grows In Brooklyn by Betty Smith.  It is amazing to me that words written by a woman nearly a century ago still ring so true to my heart when I read them now. This is the power of well written words. Timeless literature, eternal quotes. Some truths never change, and that is oddly comforting to me at this time in my life.  I've started reading books with a set of colored pencils nearby. Every time a passage speaks to me it gets highlighted. For those books I read more than once, each time through gets a different color.  I'm going to leave you with the two of the last highlighted portions of the book.  The first a prayer of a 15 year old girl named Francie:

"'Dear God,' she prayed, 'let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere --be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.'" 

The second a conversation between mother and daughter after a 16 year-old Francie gets her heart broken for the first time:

" 'Say something,' demanded Francie. 'Why don't you say something?'

'What can I say?'

'Say that I'm young --that I'll get over it. Go ahead and say it. Go ahead and lie.'

'I know that's what people say --you'll get over it. I'd say it, too. But I know it's not true. Oh, you'll be happy again, never fear. But you won't forget.  Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him.' "

The last paragraph especially. Sigh. It's true. Timeless words so eloquently spoken and woven into a story that will stay with me for a long long time.  These are the reasons I'm in love with the smell of old book shops. These are the reasons I'm so passionate about losing myself in a good book whenever possible.  In no other way can you completely transport yourself to another place and time. And in the best of books: quotes, paragraphs, pages that last with you for a lifetime.  Not sure which of my pile of 15 books is next, but I'm excited to find out!

Idle Hands

Do you ever feel like you're simply existing?  I've had several moments recently where I catch myself doing things and think, "What on earth are you doing?!"  Nothing is the answer. Nothing or mindless tasks that waste being awake time. How easy it is to become stagnant and complacent. How quickly a 'break' can turn into habit.  There's nothing wrong with taking a little me time and with just doing absolutely nothing every once in a while.  However, I generally like to fill my 'me' time with a nice walk or workout, a good book, cleaning something, etc. Tonight after I got home from a delicious sushi dinner I found myself lounging on the couch, Sportscenter on in the background, staring mindlessly at my facebook screen. I snapped out of it, and wondered why I was wasting my precious time zombied out in front of not only the tv, but my computer as well. (Don't worry, my cell phone was not far away either.)  Off went the tv, away went the computer. I soon found myself in a bubble bath with the remainder of A Tree Grows In Brooklyn. It didn't take long before I found myself a teenage girl in 1910s Brooklyn, New York.  A much more scintillating way to spend the evening. Much more stimulating for the mind and soul.  Once I was sufficiently prune-y I wrapped myself in a fluffy warm towel recently out of the drier and finished getting ready for bed.  After all, if I have nothing better to do than practice my zombie impression in front of two dimensional screens with little imagination, I may as well go to bed so I can wake up at a reasonable hour and spend some exercise time with nature :)  Along these same lines, I recently committed to a triathlon next spring with a friend of mine ...yikes!  But it will be good. For the times when working full time and school full time aren't enough to keep me from being too idle, I'll have more to do!  Apparently it's needed. AND training for and completing the triathlon will get my bum in great shape for my 30th birthday extravaganza next summer in Greece!  Who wants to look squishy in Greece?!  Not this girl!  Soft I'll always be, and proudly so, but no more squishy!  Wish me luck folks!!

On another note... the love of my life, my sweet little nephew turned 1 yesterday!! Happy birthday little man! Look forward to pics and party info soon :)