The thing is...

Hi all!  Sorry I've been so quiet lately. I've been busy with a multitude of fairly menial tasks, and well, quite frankly, my internal dialog has been quite monotonous and repetitive. Pretty much I just haven't had much new/inspiring/colorful/entertaining to say :)  I've been busy with work, and with getting ready for my sister's wedding (read scheduling hair cut/color/blowout appointments), and with the day to day 'housekeeping' sort of tasks that if not kept up on will overwhelm your life with clutter.  It's amazing how the little things can pile up and how freeing it is when you actually accomplish them!  I only have three more appointments to schedule before the weekend and I'll be all caught up. Oh, and I need to back up my computer, save all my photos to discs, download my free windows 7 and microsoft office 2011 upgrade, and update my anti-virus software. And I need to download netflix, update the apps on my phone, update my starbucks card, and I just saw an app store for my computer?  Hello angry birds on my 17" screen!! (menial tasks like I said, but there's a bazillion of 'em)  Phew. In addition I've officially become a card carrying University of Washington Husky. That's right folks, school officially began with orientation this week (hence the free windows 7 and microsoft office updates). And I made it official by stopping by the bookstore and picking myself up some purple gear --purple plaid lounge-y pj bottoms and a purple comfy cotton jammie tshirt. Purple will never replace Aggie blue, but I'm doing this new thing where I stay in the 'present' of my own life :)  The other thing I accomplished this week was the passing of my Certified Emergency Nurse (CEN) exam.  It's kind of like taking the nursing boards again only its all specific to emergency care. Something like only 2% of emergency nurses have this certification, so it's kind of a big deal. But also sad for our profession, no? Only 2%?

Now that we know what I've been up to... I still don't really have any thoughts of my own to share. I've been in a SaTC marathon mode, contemplating the status of my life and relationships and goals. Like I said earlier, monotonous and repetitive :) However, today I was inspired by words of a dear friend.  She had the following to say:

We are more afraid of how great we can be than that we are nothing; more afraid to be truly loved, than rejected; More afraid of true friends, than of fake ones; More afraid of what we can do and handle, than what we can't. We don't want to see what we can do and be, have and love because it comes at a higher greater cost. True friends, true love, true greatness comes as a great and wonderful gift, but at the cost of greater responsibility, sacrifice, faith, trust, and duty. To love someone enough to be willing to die for them, is also to love them enough to be willing to live for them, which may actually be more difficult. To truly care means to know you will feel and share as much pain as you do joy that isn't your own or about you. To know you are great and capable is to know you have no excuse for not doing all you can and should, and to be left with out an excuse is scary. To know you are great and loved, and to love, is to know that you MUST give your ALL, no matter the cost, or stand as if naked before God and face the consequence of not doing what you could, when He gave you everything you needed to accomplish all he asked of you. --Mandi M.


So very true, and reminded me of my favorite Nelson Mandela quote.  The part that I loved was that true friends, love, and greatness come at the cost of greater responsibility, sacrifice, faith, trust, and duty.  Isn't that so true?  The thing about having it all and actually reaching for all that we are capable of is that you have so much more to loose. That's where the fear comes in. It's not that I'm afraid to be truly loved in and of itself, it's that I'm afraid that once I have that again I'll loose it again. When you achieve great things and risk great things to put yourself in great places you have a lot further to fall, a lot more to risk, a lot more to loose. It's easier to stay in the comfort of the familiar and stagnant than the sometimes scary land of growth, progress, and greatness. Not better, but easier. So here's to pushing ourselves. To standing a little taller, being a little better, and as Harriet Tubman once said, "Always remember you have within you the strength, the patience, the passion to reach for the stars. To change the world."