Or Maybe Instead...

I came on today with intentions of writing about feelings and things that were on my mind. I even have it all written out on paper and it's beautiful, but that's where it will stay. Do you ever with you were brave enough to put what's really on your mind out there for the world to see?   Sometimes I am, but tonight is not one of those nights, and sometimes things have to be just yours I think.  So instead, here's the latest thing on Pinterest that makes me giggle, Truths For Mature Humans:

1.  I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2.  Nothing sucks more than that moment in an argument when you realize you are wrong.

3.  I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4.  There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5.  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (I actually learned the answer tot his one on Martha Stewart, but it's still funny)


6.  Was learning cursive really necessary? (I think it was --I quite like the fancy-ness of it)


7.  MapQuest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.

8.  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how people died.

9.  I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10.  Bad decisions make good stories.

11.  You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12.  Can we all agree to just ignore whatever comes after bluray? I don't want to have to start my collection ...again.

13.  I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14.  "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this. Ever.

15.  I hate it when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? ****it!) But when I immediately call back it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16.  I hate leaving my house confident and looking great and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17.  I keep some people's numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18.  I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19.  I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

20.  I wish google maps had an "avoid ghetto" routing option.

21.  Sometimes I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22.  I would rather try to carry ten over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.

23.  The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24.  I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25.  How many times is it appropriate to say  "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26.  I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong brothers and sisters!

27.  Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28.  Is it just me, or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

29.  There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning back in your chair a little too far.

30.  As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers. But no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31.  Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32.  Even under ideal conditions people have a hard time locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell-phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey --but I'd bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.