Dream a Little Dream

I am totally burned out on life right now. I quite honestly hate my job. I never want to go in, and when I leave I am so angry that it takes me an abnormal amount of time to go to sleep. The thing is I don't know what else I would honestly do. And, oh, I got into the University of Washington to further my degree in the job that I hate... I suppose I should clarify. I love being a registered nurse. I love taking care of super sick patients and massive traumas. Or just polite "normal" people. Even if you're there for an hangnail you've had for three months, if you're just nice, that's all I really care about. The thing is, I don't get to take care of massive traumas all that often at work. The really sick patients are few and far between, and the nice ones are literally non-existent. And I loathe management. I hate that the few of us who know what we're doing and are actually capable of doing our jobs end up getting shat on day in and day out because no one else is competent. I detest the fact that there have been around 30 patients in the waiting room every night at work, and nothing is being done about it. I hate that I am asked if I can stay late every single night (Literally. I've kept track. Every single shift for the last four months.) because of one "surprise" or another. If we're not getting our tails kicked it's because we're short staffed. And if we're not short staffed it's because the charge nurse was caught off guard by the number of beds we "all of a sudden" have to have closed. Even though we close the exact same beds at the exact same time every day of the week for the last year.

Phew. Now that I have that off my chest (sorry for complaining), on to the point...

So I've pondered a lot lately about what else I'd rather be doing. And I have a secret. You know what I dream of doing? I would absolutely love to be a high school history teacher. I had a US history teacher my junior year of high school that was so wonderful that I think each of her students wanted to be just like her at one point. I've always LOVED US history. I have an associates degree in nursing and a bachelors degree in exercise science and I dream of being a high school history teacher. Go figure :) Do I feel 'right' about it? No, or that's what I'd be doing ...but it's nice to dream. Also, I'm sure that if I were a history teacher I'd be beyond irritated at the stupid parents, and I wouldn't get paid enough, and I'm sure I'd hate a child or two. So I'm starting school in June to finish my bachelors degree in nursing. And I came to the realization the other day, that if I don't go on and get a masters degree, I will be the only one of my siblings not to get a graduate degree. And I can't be outdone! Lol, but seriously... With a masters degree in nursing, I would not get pain a single cent more than I do right now at work. With my associates degree. So it would be pure professional pride and good ol' fashioned sibling rivalry that I'd do it for. Well, that and for a back up plan for when I'm 60 and don't want to run all over the ER anymore. So back to school I go. And I'm excited. But I must admit that I'm more excited for my two electives I get to take than I am for any of the nursing stuff. Which electives am I taking? US history through the civil war and US history from the civil war to present day.

So for now i'm content to dream. I dream every day. I dream of running away. I dream of tropical islands and cities yet to be explored. I dream of foreign countries and continents and vacations yet to come. I dream of airplanes and sunshine. I dream of city streets and skyscrapers and parks. I dream of having a quiet house in the country suburbs somewhere with a picket fence, planter boxes, and shutters. I dream of having someone to come home to and snuggly up to in bed at night. I dream of babies to love and raise. I dream of having a puppy to play with and flowers to garden. I dream of laughter filled walks at dusk in khaki capris, a pastel button up shirt, and a white cardigan. I dream because as Walt Disney said, "If you can dream it, you can do it. ...All our dreams come true if we have the courage to pursue them." What do you secretly dream of?