Yep, still hurts.

I'm broken. Forever. There is probably no fixing me. Last ditch effort? Therapy. Giving it serious consideration. We have a pretty good deal through my insurance.

I had my palm read by a crazy patient's crazy husband a while ago at work. Yeah. It happens. We see it all in the ER. So he told me, amongst many other incredibly accurate things that I think like a man. At the time I thought this was his one mistake. The one part about me that he missed. Anyone that knows me knows what a complete emotional wreck I am. I am 100% girl and hormones and emotional drama. As much as it pains me to say it, it's true. I have several versions of myself that I project depending on the situation. The work me is absolutely not that way. The work me is an assertive, charming, intelligent, confident, witty, hard nosed bitch. The me that the majority of my family and friends/acquaintances know is a watered down version of the same. But the few people who know me best, the ones I repeatedly call/email in shambles and tears at varying times of the day/night know the true extent of my emotional nature.

So I scoffed when he told me this. But really, after processing it, he's 100% right. That is the source of most of my emotional drama. I absolutely do think like a man. My brain is 100% fact-driven logical and methodical. I am a problem solver. I want it given to me straight. Get right to the point, I don't need all the nonsense fluff. The problem is that my heart is 100% female and my heart wins every battle between it and my brain. So the logical part of me knows all the answers and solutions but my heart doesn't care and thus we have CONFLICT!! Conflict = emotional mess and drama. I may think like a man but unfortunately I'm ruled by my heart not my brain. Hmm. Remember my hippo dream? Heart vs brain ...mom vs hippo. What is someone trying to tell me? How do I make that happen? Hmm. Therapy. Thinkin' about it.